We Are Imposition

map of Burkina FasoPossibly you gained your great wealth in the usual ways, bribery, theft, cajolery, but some people want the money just handed to them without that kind of effort. No doubt you’ve heard of the emails that come from Nigeria, hoping to trick greedy but utterly stupid people into sending money. Recently I received an email giving me a chance to share in $10.5 million “without any trouble”. I knew it was legitimate, because it came from Burkina Faso, a completely different west African country. And money without any trouble, who wouldn’t go for that?

I also knew it was legitimate because Mr. Samunu Dawel works for a bank, and he has a real title with three words in it. He’s the Audit Account Manager. Furthermore, he showed his credibility by telling me that he had found my contact information “from a reliable web directory”. If it had been unreliable, well, that would have been a completely different matter, but fortunately we weren’t faced with that.

As Mr. Dawel informed me, “We are imposition to reclaim and inherit the sum of US ($10.5) Million”, which is more money than I currently have. It was reassuring to know that the owner of the account has been dead for 7 years, and just as I was wondering whether we might be depriving the rightful family of the money, I read that the poor soul had “died without trace of his family to claim the fund”. What luck. So $10.5 million (or Million) was just lying there, waiting for the first random stranger in America to pick it up.

It turned out, though, that my selection was not completely random, as Audit Account Manager Dawel had investigated and discovered that the deceased was from “Atlanta America”. Since I happen to live in Atlanta America, the deceased and I were neighbors, might have even been acquaintances in utterly different circumstances. Practically next of kin. I deserved that money.

Just in case I might have had any slight hesitations, seeing as how I had never met, or heard of, or suspected the existence of, the deceased, or of Samunu Dawel, or the bank he worked for, I was completely reassured by the professional manner of Mr. Dawel. He engendered trust with his professional manner, informing me that in case the money was too much to put into my account all at once, it could be transferred to me “bit by bit after approval”. I appreciated that.

He had even very professionally worked out the financial details of who got how much. The money was to be divided 40% for me, 40% for him, and—imagine the professional attention to details—3% more for me in recompense for the trouble. What about the remaining 17%? Tears come to my eyes just to think of what a good man Mr. Dawel is. That 17% was to be given as a “free will donation to charity and motherless babies homes” in both countries! My God, I wanted to round it up to 20%, until I thought that it really would be trouble for me to do this, and I could use that extra 3%, and babies don’t actually need that much money.

Because he was so professional, Mr. Dawel made this transaction easy for me with a list of the information he would need to complete the deal. He asked me to send him my full name, telephone number, age, sex, occupation, country and city (maybe that was just in case I had moved away from Atlanta America), and photo or ID card. He also gave me his private email, and I was thinking he might enjoy hearing from any blog readers who want to tell him what a good man he is for helping motherless babies: samunu.dawel@terra.com.

If you happen to be one of those cynical types who don’t trust decent people who just want to do good in this world by sending hundreds of thousands of dollars to total strangers in America, I’ll point out that Mr. Dawel ended his kind letter with the reassurance that “this transaction will never in any way harm or foiled your good post or reputation”. I certainly do value my good post and reputation and would not want them foiled, so I was glad to hear this.

I’m waiting to hear back. And I’m feeling pretty good about helping those motherless babies.

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